A rumor..... a virus

A short story:

Juan heard a rumor about Alberto, a professional colleague. Alberto apparently had said something about Juan, which he simply believed as being truth, and bothered him.

Juan sent a WhatsApp to Alberto saying that he had heard what he was saying about him, and telling Alberto that it was not true, and that the truth was different.

Alberto was petrified, since what he had always said about Juan had been positive. Deep in sadness, and thinking that all this was very unfair, he felt that he did not understand anything ... until the coronavirus reminded him that a rumor acts like a virus.

Having been a direct witness in this story, I would like to recuperate the book “Virus” (unfortunately discontinued) from my friend and partner Ferran Ramon-Cortés.

The book explores the danger of rumors, their similarity of functioning with a virus, and proposes actions to achieve good communication, as if it were the vaccine against a rumor.

And the first big and important reflection is:

Before circulating information, we should be completely sure of two things:

"That is absolutely true, and that running it will contribute positively."

Other reflections to consider are:

• Rumor removes details that are essential to understand objective reality.

• Once it begins to circulate, the rumor may change, and it may change to more virulent stages (like the virus).

• The breeding ground for rumor is distrust; In an environment of trust, the rumor cannot progress.

The rumor arouses beliefs that were asleep in the receiver, hidden or unconscious.

• If there is a certain mistrust, for whatever reason, what happens is that the rumor, which at another time would have gone unnoticed, now has a disproportionate effect. It's like it finds the receiver low on defenses.

Based on Ferran's reflections in the book, I allow myself to adapt some tips if you receive a rumor that directly implicates you, before reactively acting or attacking:

1. Get to know people well.

If you know people, you will have privileged information to give more or less credibility to something you hear.

2. Self-reflection on the rumor

What you have heard,

How important is it to give it credibility, or importance?

What awakens in you, that has nothing to do with the rumor? What is the belief you are feeding?

3. Exploring the rumor

Who started the rumor? What exactly is he/she saying? In what context did it happen? What is another way to interpret it in that context? Who else was present? What is the vision or interpretation of these other people?

4. If after this reflection and exploration you still need to speak, clarify or understand something, then approach the person involved with curiosity. It is important to work personally the prejudices that you have first, otherwise they will come out as an attack in the conversation, and the result will not be healthy for the relationship.

And a final thought, reconnecting with the “virus” effect and one of Ferran's recommendations in the book:

Break the chains of contagion.

Selectively act with key people who can stop the process.